The gift of being able to transmit grace, unconditional love and healing energy, is known in the East as Shakti. ~ Leslie Temple Thurston 

It’s been a common pattern for me to consider myself a “spiritual person” and to intellectually get that “we’re all one” while at the same time shun my ego and other parts of myself that I claim are “not me.”

Then I look at what parts of my personality were shunned by my parents or by the society. I chose to express the parts of me that were shunned and shamed or repressed in my ancestral line and instead be the flower blossoming from the roots of my ancestral tree. And become the story I was born to live, not the story I was born to. Thereby becoming the fruit, no longer forbidden, but blossoming and flowering, 84 thousand lotus petals shining open.

I am discovering that my true self is an artist and that I’m constantly creating myself, ever so fluid, turning this way and that way, exploring here and there, creating something new, dying to what once was and creating again. Always in a state of becoming.

In my search, I have discovered the seeker within is an artist. She has been searching for creativity. The Shakti that lives within. The Shakti that creates eternity.

My search has been about experiencing opposites and eventually coming into wholeness. Moving through those opposites and duality have allowed my small self to expand into a larger Self that can hold space for all of these dualities and feel a deep experience of life.

In my transformation process since 2020, I have completed various stages in traditional alchemy – calcination, dissolution, conjunction and fermentation. I’m currently in a chrysalis. A space of integration that has come because I have accepted the pieces of myself that were once shunned. I spent too much energy in repressing the “undesired” parts of myself. And these undesired parts like shame, rejection, humiliation and victimhood that I held in my body have been set free. Liberated.

I had identified with the thing that family and society had shunned in me once, and I allowed it to destroy me. It is not the not identifying with that rejected thing as part of me that destroys – it is that I have agreed that it should be rejected, and I continue to hold onto it while also rejecting it. The conflict is within me and so it all must be destroyed, each ego layer that holds up the other ego layers.

This inner destruction is necessary and I allow it. l know I will emerge from the wreckage with a new level of consciousness based on more awareness, wisdom and emotional availability for new experiences.

 

What’s being destroyed? 

As I surrender the ego-layers and psychological wounds, I’m moving from a wounded child sub-self to a an empowered, nurtured adult. That means no longer being guided by a wounded child that sabotages and instead allow myself to be guided by my true, wise self. 

Old self…(wounded)

• The need to control
• The need to judge
• The need to defend
• All coping mechanisms to protect my inner child from attack and conflict.
• And from feeling helpless and powerless.

New belief/new pathway —> I AM A QUEEN, I HAVE INNER POWER

 

• The need to compare
• The need for sex and attention to feel worthy
• Unworthiness and victimhood wounds coming from my wounded princess. From gifts not being nurtured and never feeing good enough. Not able to express my soul gifts.

New belief/new pathway —> I AM SOVEREIGN AND DIVINELY WORTHY. I AM NURTURED AND SUPPORTED TO EXPRESS MY UNIQUE GIFTS.

 

• The need to analyze and
• The need to ruminate and play back past failures
• Comes from attachment to victim template not trusting the Universe has my back, is benevolent and abundant and is always working through me and for me. Switch to creation template of Grail Queens.

New belief/new pathway —> THE UNIVERSE IS BENEVOLENT AND ABUNDANT AND IS ALWAYS WORKING THROUGH ME AND FOR ME. I CREATE NOW THROUGH THE TEMPLATE OF THE GRAIL QUEENS.

 

What’s being created? 

New self emerging…(nurtured)

• I am sovereign and I am a Queen
• Gifts nurtured and I am fully supported in nurturing environments
• Life has meaning through art.
• Cocoon of spirituality, silence, prayer, meditations, music, journaling
• Self-love, self-soothing and self- care
• Knowing my worth, not having to prove myself
• Slowing down and relaxing
• Mature feminine queen is supported
• Less distortions
• Less reacting
• Feel the Universe guiding, loving and helping me ascend
• Learning about sovereignty
• Shifting from neediness to purpose

As I learn to create new pathways from my new beliefs, I’m shifting from neediness to purpose. My life is becoming more meaningful and full of joy, hope and creation. I feel supported  and nurtured by life as I walk up the stairway of consciousness that Dr. David Hawkins has so beautifully mapped. These new beliefs and new pathways open the door at every gate and allow my heart to awaken so I can receive the truth and the light and remember who I am and why I came.. to express my true nature, be oneness and share unconditional love and acceptance with all. 

 

• New belief/new pathway —> I AM A QUEEN, I HAVE INNER POWER
• New belief/new pathway —> I AM SOVEREIGN AND DIVINELY WORTHY. I AM NURTURED AND SUPPORTED TO EXPRESS MY UNIQUE GIFTS.
• New belief/new pathway —> THE UNIVERSE IS BENEVOLENT AND ABUNDANT AND IS ALWAYS WORKING THROUGH ME AND FOR ME. I CREATE THROUGH THE TEMPLATE OF THE GRAIL QUEENS.
• Learning about sovereignty
• Creation through regeneration
• Grail Queen codes
• Recovering the lineage of the lost goddess

The wounds shed like a tree, like a snake, like Mother Nature, all energy is destroyed, recycled and regenerated. Nothing ever stays fixed or stagnant.

 

Shakti flowing…

 

The gift of being able to transmit grace, unconditional love and healing energy, is known in the East as Shakti.

~ Leslie Temple Thurston 

 

Stay tuned for more updates to my transformation in Part 2….

 

I’ve been working with the fabulous Annabel DuBoualy in her 22-day immersion called the Rose Moon Epiphany.

I really didn’t know what to expect from this journey except that my intuition called me to this program. It is based on her wisdom of the Rose Lineage, walking with masters and guides through the portal of the Winter Solstice as we rebirth our inner Sun King as well as walking through Venus Retrograde and initiating Venus in Capricorn Meta-Goddess cycle.

In one of the shamanic guided journeys, I received guidance from Mary Magdalene about my Wounded Healer Self.

There were two traumas hidden in my subconscious memory. The first was an ancient memory of watching Yeshua on the cross.

The second was an ancient memory of being stripped of High Priestess/ Sacred Sexual Feminine power in Babylon when I was a High Priestess of Inanna, a Hierodule. Dancing through Veils in the temple of Inanna. In that life, I was forced into a patriarchal marriage with a vert domestic role.

I remember that being the lifetime when I devolved into the wounded princess archetype and I was conditioned into marriage through a man for power, wealth, safety and protection.

Mary Magdalene took the cross out of my energy field and replaced it with a 5-petaled orange rose

I saw five thrones and five Queens, each with wisdom to share with me. Cleopatra, Mary Magdalene, Isis, Persephone and Medusa.

• Queen Cleopatra said It’s time to take your throne.
• Mary Magdalene said it’s time to heal the Holy Grail within your heart and womb and connect to Sirius.
• Isis said, it’s time to rebirth the temple of Isis within your soul.
• Persephone said, it’s time to be wild, free and in tantric union with yourself.
• Medusa said, it’s time to reclaim your Atlantean royal heritage.

Isis, Cleopatra and Mary Magdalene link to my spiritual heritage in Egypt, Sirius and Venus.

Persephone and Medusa link me to my spiritual heritage in Atlantis, Minoan Crete and post-Atlantean Greece.

From the shamanic work in the Rose Moon Epiphany, I did some additional research to gather information based on my dreams and intuitive nudges. I discovered the Magdalene Rose Temple created by Melissa, an Isis/ Magdalene Rose Priestess. These are her words from her website…

• The Magdalene frequency is rebirthing on our planet.
• Mary Magdalene is rebirthing her frequency as Queen of Magdalene
• She is upgrading her vibration into the new 5d royal codes

“The Queen of Magdalene codes are now ready to be received on our planet, these are high frequency codes of Stellar Light that radiate the new 5D Magdalene frequencies – Majesty, Sovereignty & Royalty.”

“In her rebirth, Mary Magdalene is now giving us the opportunity to rebirth into our Queen of Magdalene codes and Royal 5D Light. Now is the time for us to embody the Majestic Codes of Stellar Light from the Egyptian Royal Lines & the Higher Realms of Sirius & Pleiades.”

“To become a Queen of Magdalene, and to anchor this frequency onto our planet, we need to merge the Holy Grail lineage with the Egyptian Royal Codes.”

“A long time ago, the lineages of the Holy Grail and Egyptian Royal codes became separated when we descended into the dark ages of feminine disempowerment.”

~ From the Magdalene Rose Temple, Founder Melissa

 

Dream journal

New Year’s Eve night, I dreamt of a pack of wolves on the roof. They were strong and beautiful with wild, white coats. They looked directly at me and were so very unafraid. One of them jumped on one of my friends as I watched the wolf sit on my friend. But the wolf did not hurt her.

Then, I saw a woman in a red cape walk into the Shamanic cave with the wolves. When she took off her hood I saw my new dance teacher for 2022. Her name is Olga Meos. She is wild and magickal and doesn’t hold back. She said she would teach me to dance in my wildness again. And that we would dance together and work together in community in the future.

The next image in my dream, I was in a dormitory/hostel like setting with other young girls. I was preparing to leave with heavy suitcases. I looked through my travel paperwork and folders and had so many folders and paperwork to organize. Too many thoughts.

The night before I looked in the mirror in my bathroom and saw a web of cords that I kept cutting down.

The next day in waking life, I received a message from Olga Meos that I should join her upcoming class. I felt the wolves with me and walked over to my bookcase where I picked up “Women Who Run with the Wolves.”

 

Maturing from wounded priestess to the empowered Wild Queen

I have really been triggered as of late by friends and family who play the “domesticated woman” role who stand by patriarchal patterns of dependence, caretaking and having an identity that is based on a man (married to a man, children with a man, house/lifestyle provided for and paid by their man, always with their man or any man).

What do some of these women do? Stay at home. Bake cakes. They are always smiling, always happy, nothing is ever wrong with their happy family life. Fake. Definitely not authentic.

I don’t resonate with that Ken and Barbie storyline. It’s not my frequency. The princess is trapped, forever a princess. She will never feel “enough. She will never be liberated, free or wild. She will always get her identity from a man.

When you believe you are enough, which is when you are fulfilled and surrendered and liberated and don’t feel like you need anything outside of you, then everything is fine and easy.

When you feel whole, safe content and worthy

But when you feel tired or emotionally affected, and likely don’t feel enough, then you miss any kind of external stimulation and feel like you need external validation and love.

In surrendering the external stimulation and validation, you reconnect with yourself, replenishing  yourself with the love and acceptance you deserve.

The Queen says, “Let’s focus inwards and reconnect to the Source of my power, and re-establish my feeling of ‘I am enough’. “

The wounded princess says,, “I need someone or something else to give me love and validation because I’m not willing or capable of giving that to myself.”

The Queen aligns to Source energy, where her true power comes from to replenish her cup.

Her personal vibration (Shakti, life-force) is her greatest resource. When we raise our vibration and align our life-force to the Divine, we join the Divine Flow and life can take on an effortless flow, relationships are harmonic and abundance streams with ease.

Your core mission is to wake up, connect to the source of who you really are – and raise your personal vibration. Ultimately, you will experience a new more enlightened world. 

Once you are at peace with yourself, no matter the external condition, you look at your relationships through the lens if non-attachment. You no longer need “another” to to validate you and this feels very liberating. It allows you to co-create together in the spirit of interdependency, instead of saving each other from a place of co-dependency, unworthiness and addiction. It also means you can choose to be together freely and not out of need or obligation.

Then, there’s the new collective of Isis Priestesses and Wild Women belly dancers who I do resonate with. They are wild!

And this leads back inward to the split I have within myself that was created long ago in the patriarchy. Carl Jung calls this split in consciousness the Mother-Whore complex. We witness this in the biblical narrative of Lilith-Eve that has since devolved from the ancient roots of earlier epics, The Descent of Inanna and the Abduction of Persephone. Both stories that invite the feminine to descend into her dark mysterious nature, confront her fears, complexes and all to transform in the belly of the Goddess and be reborn with a new sense of individuation, freedom of the authentic self and wisdom that only be found in a journey to the Underworld.

I’ve been healing through this spilt in consciousness for years and the healing happens in spirals. In this round of Venus retrograde I am spiraling deeper than ever before.

I’m receiving powerful New Earth healing transmissions that allow me to receive the 10th dimensional Golden Christ Light.

The healings have been supporting my heart expansion, raising my consciousness, healing my physical self by becoming aware and releasing patterns, habits and thought forms of lower consciousness. One of those deeply held patterns is the wounded princess, shaming Shadow mother and victim/savior/villain drama triangle and betrayal matrix.

Then it all came together for me…

My soul had been patiently waiting for the Great Remembering and New 5D Earth to fully heal from the patriarchal dark ages where fragments of my soul have been stuck and so much rage and power along with it.

The Queens in my shamanic journey (Cleopatra, Mary Magdalene, Isis, Persephone and Medusa) were guiding me to shed the patriarchal woundings, identities and timelines to finally rebirth my true empowered, Divine self. Essentially, transform myself from the distorted patriarchal darkness and rise into the Age of Light.

The ancient Queens are guiding the priestesses and oracles, encouraging us to activate our royal codes to embody deeper levels of sovereignty and feminine power.

And all the rage and fragmentation I feel about sweet, innocent, unaware and un-initiated Eve/Barbie suddenly makes sense. She is also a part of me. She is my deepest fear of what happens to a woman once she becomes caged.

My deepest fear is that cage…

As Wild Woman I cannot fearlessly run with my pack unless I face this fear and re-integrate the fear into my consciousness so I can be whole.

And I want to fearlessly run with my pack of wolves and create and rebirth and love and teach and travel and be free and wild in my authentic self and unbridled sexual power. I have been searching for this elixir from my wild soul and this wild pack of kindred spirits.

I’ll leave you with the the wild, wise words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes from her beloved book, “Women Who Run With the Wolves”.

“For women, this searching and finding is based on the mysterious passion that women have for what is wild, what is innately themselves. We have been calling the object of this yearning Wild Woman…but even when women don’t know her by name, even when they do not know where she resides, they strain toward her: they love her with all their hearts. They long for her and that longing is both motivation and locomotion. It is this yearning that causes us to search for Wild Woman and find her. It is not as hard as one might first imagine, for Wild Woman is searching for us too. We are her young.”

Welcome to my Transformation diary! I’ve been in metamorphosis since 2020 (caterpillar, chrysalis, butterfly) and wanted to share my awakening and ascension journey. 

Descent into our unconscious is an initiation into feminine power, wisdom and abundance. Exploring and enquiring about our unworthiness is one such initiation.

Unworthiness can be an ugly word or terrifying emotion to explore but once we do enter the dark labyrinth that holds ideas, concepts and complexes about our unworthiness, we become more aware of how we arrived here. Is it still true? Are we carrying baggage from our childhood? Is there an emptiness inside we can’t seem to fill? Where does the emptiness come from? Do we try to fill this void with people, food, sex, money, drugs? Do we chase things and people?

 

Entering the Void

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”

– Jim Morrison

 This void is the space we need to explore. We need to explore both its beauty and cruelty because without knowing it, we will be crushed by its powerful gravity. But if we choose to visit the void, trust its vastness and silence. Meet our fragility there, we may be able to look in the mirror of our unworthiness and find untruths that no longer serve us. We may find truth that we can carry back with us into the light. And for that journey, we need courage to guide us into the dark.

As the Divine Feminine energy and consciousness rebirths on Mother Gaia and we reclaim the birthright of abundance we still have to face and clear our patriarchal beliefs of unworthiness based in lack and scarcity.

We all have dark, unconscious thoughts and beliefs rooted in our subconscious mind. Some of these beliefs we formed in childhood and others we’ve inherited from our family and ancestral belief systems. 

Last Friday, we had a lunar eclipse in Taurus and the day before Venus went into shadow as it retrogrades Capricorn. In February of 2022, the USA will experience its Pluto Return, which will be a rebirth of its values and direction.

I believe the planets are preparing us for some deep healing.

My recent initiation into the Sisterhood of the Rose of the Isis / Magdalene / Ra lineage is teaching me new layers of healing and embracing Venusian consciousness. Venus is the planet of love and harmony. Her initiations and teachings help us realize our value, self-worth and confidence as divine feminine leaders of New Earth.

She heals our issues of poverty-consciousness and neediness.

We often think that poverty is a financial condition we suffer from. It’s a mindset, a consciousness based on lack and scarcity that needs clearing and healing. “How will I pay for this?” “I wish I could attract money like other people.” “I’m just not good with money.” “I’m always hiding in the shadows” “Why am I so worthless?” “Why doesn’t anyone appreciate me?”

These are all examples of poverty consciousness. Anyone can get stuck in poverty consciousness because it’s not actually about money. It’s really about worthiness.

There is one force on the planet that can eradicate poverty consciousness and I believe that is Love. The love you feel from your Creator or God/Goddess or Universe. The belief that no matter the condition, that we live in a loving, abundant universe that is always guiding and conspiring to help us grow and expand.

Aligning to this love of the Universe and believing you are valuable and worthy of your bliss creates a different kind of consciousness and energetic experience for you.

 

Aligning to Love’s life-giving flow

Know your worth and value. Stop giving yourself away to experiences that make you feel empty and instead invest in your soul. Invest in deeply fulfilling experiences that resonate with your soul’s calling. Explore your gifts and talents. Invest in your spiritual path.

• Spend time in Nature and explore her cycles of abundance
• See how she continually creates and gives
• Explore and express your authentic gifts
• Value your time and space
• Create sacred space to meditate and be with yourself
• Identify ways you are abandoning your gifts, path, time and energy
• Redirect your energy fulfilling actives and people
• Replenish yourself and practice
• Learn to receive and fill your cup
• Learn to receive guidance through mediation and stillness
• Learn to receive inspiration through art
• Volunteer in your community
• Love others as yourself

Learning how to replenish yourself, not give away time and energy and feeling that you are a creator connected to a higher power of consciousness will all help you shift out of a state of unworthiness.

We heal in layers and you may find in your devotional practice, you are feeling another, deeper layer of unworthiness. It’s an opportunity for you to enter into silence, travel to that cave of unworthiness and birth a new truth.

 

Ending old stories of abandonment and fear

Now is the time to end old stories of abandonment and connect to you inner Self. Your inner Self is a part of this abundant universe and is always flowing to you. You are in the flow of life. The only time you are cut off from life is when you believe you are cut off and this is what stops you from receiving that flow.

During this time of exploring our Underworld of unworthiness, you may uncover old stories that don’t define you any longer. The cure for the pain is within the pain (abandonment) so I explored my inner darkness.

I uncovered my old stories of abandonment inner child programming. I found that my inner child was holding on the pain and memory of multiple abandonment experiences and longing for the opposite of those experiences. That duality of opposites was lodged into my subconscious system, wanting to break free.

The opposite polarities were literally fighting with one another.

Abandonment	Adoption
Neglect	Caretake
Ignore	Enable
Forget	Remember
Invalidate	Validate
Desert	Support
Disconnect	Connect
Vampire	Angel
Narcissistic	Empath
Suck the light	Give the light
Addict	Drug

I was abandoning myself by allowing my deepest fear to take over me. My deepest fear being I am worthless and that my true wild nature will never be honored in a patriarchal system, my gifts are worthless.

I will not be chosen, patriarchal women will be chosen. The fear became a Root belief: I am worthless. I have no value I don’t deserve the love. My love interests can fall in love with someone else and not choose me, not value me

Be me. Align with Source who loves you and values you unconditionally. Align with the abundance and love of Source, the Divine Mother Consciousness. Detach from patriarchal beliefs

The medicine for the pain was loving my inner child. My inner child needs my unconditional love. The key is to care for her soul gifts, enable her soul gifts, remember her soul gifts, validate her soul gifts, support her soul gifts and creations and connect to her soul gifts and creativity.

I can’t expect anyone outside of me to caretake me.

I can express my gifts on my own. I have been learning new dance skills and will be ready to teach and dance on YouTube soon!

My inner child needs to know she is healed and free. I am her mother and father and I will support her dreams. She is fully supported to commit to her path and she will not be abandoned. 

New Belief: My TRUE PATH will love and support me.

I don’t need a romantic partner/man to help me live my dreams (3D). I can rely on my Higher Self to carry me to my TRUE PATH (5D). Joyful, energetic, healthy, respectful connections.

Desire to be abandoned	Fear of being abandoned
I can handle the feeling	Feeling alone and deserted
I’m used to it by now	I’m unloveable
Auto pilot mode	No one desires me
I can continue to not be vulnerable	Feeling crushed
I can have my defenses	Feeling like a helpless child with no control or protection
Don’t need to be soft
Can stay independent and armored
Protected from being vulnerable and hurt
Can blame someone else. Play victim.
Denial that i’m never abandoned but i choose lovers not relationships where i invest and get hurt

 

Desire to be caretaken	Fear of being caretaken
Nice to lean on someone	They will want to control me
Feel protected	Fear of being smothered
Feel like I matter	Fear of co-dependent relationship
Feel special	Fear being too close and enmeshed
Feel “fathered”	Fear they will be needy and child like
Feel cherished	Always have to be in a power struggle
Held, held up, “hold me up”	They will want something to
I think this is how i can receive love	Unequal partnership, someone always has to be the victim
They are responsible for me like a parent
Feel needed
Fit into society’s model.

Just because your love interest doesn’t caretake/ do these things doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be cherished. It means your Higher Self is nudging you to not be dependent/addicted to them for these needs and rely on your Higher Self/Divine to take care of you.

Everything is based on need and addiction. Parental need instead of self-sufficiency and relying on inner resources and Source.

I’m no longer a child searching for a partner to fill a parental need.

I’m a child of Spirit being nourished by Divine Light and Spiritual Sustenance.

I can let go of that previous identity/  addiction and the ego structures that hold it up through the Divine Grace of Spirit.

I surrender my Karmic Patterns of addiction and victimhood.

I surrender my free will to Divine Will. I merge with Divine Will.

 

 

Desire to abandon	Fear to abandon
Feel powerful, not needy	Not based on love
Don’t feel helpless	Not healthy
Can dominate	Abusive
Feel in control, they will comply	Might really lose the person for good
Show them I don’t care	Heart gets closed every time
Don’t need them

 

Desire to caretake	Fear to caretake
Feel needed	Stuck
Feel superior	Stuck with someone who can’t take care of themselves
Used to giving, not receiving	Sickness
	The person will never grow up
	Parent/ child relationship
	Someone will outgrow the dynamic
	Feel drained and tired all the time
	Attract vampiric people
	They will take and take, suck and suck
	Won’t get to follow my dreams

The key is you ☥ – Healing the relationship with yourself and your inner being. ☥

Whatever is going to help you feel free. Whatever I need to feel I can be the best version of myself. The key to the inner work is achieving my wholeness. My true self (Higher self) attracts unlimited abundance and resources to me.

100% inner focus on Higher self

• Surrender and allow
• Connect to Higher Self
• Develop relationship with Higher Self
• Align to Higher Self

Spiritual practice

• Connect to guides
• Daily meditation/ yoga

Healing Inner Self

• Healing lower self/ lower self-esteem
• Inner completion/ wholeness/ path of true self – move forward with this energy!!!
• Rest 

Soul’s Mission

• Creative/ spiritual abilities
• Helping Earth Ascend Higher (writing books, youtube, pleiadian lightwork, dance, gifts of Ma’at)

Healing still to be done

• Forgiveness (myself, all, the past)
• Let go of control (fear) and fully surrender to Spirit
• Healing defensiveness, walls, escape
• Inner acceptance
• Love the wounds of my inner sleeves (inner child, rebel, teenager)
• Work through triggers
• Value myself 
• Healing self-criticism (love that voice)
• Release lack beliefs
• Release limited thought patterns
• Develop faith and trust
• 100% energetic focus on myself
• Believe in my mission
• Freedom from attachments/ external validation
• Detach – DO NOT focus on him (external)
• Let go of struggle, doubt. How will this come together?
• Shift from stress, resentment, doubt, questioning the dynamic. Be simple. Don’t think.

 

Heal, align. Heal, align. Heal, align. Heal, align.

PURGE. SHIFT. 

Heal, align. Heal, align.

Move forward!

All this work is the unconditional self-love I’ve been looking for. When I fully show up for my emotional needs with acceptance, I am no longer abandoning myself or my path.

 

Choosing love over fear

During 2020, it was revealed to me that my true path, my destiny, was to be an artist, healer and Oracle and continue the ancestral lineage of my priestess path. I had veered away from that by taking lucrative corporate jobs, despite my creativity bursting at the from my soul, in order to make ends meet and have money, but I was unfulfilled. 

I had friends I knew who were in the art community, who were deeply passionate about it and were able to be successful. But I was taught from a young age how pursuing the arts was not going to provide material wealth, rewards and comforts.

This fear that had been passed down onto me by ancestral energy patterns and you I was choosing to live out that same cycle. By not committing to loving myself and heeding my soul’s calling.

By the Law of Attraction, I continued to draw unfulfillment to myself in my career, and in my life, because I chose fear over love. I allowed myself to be bound by the 3D Templates/Material World/Ancestral Energy Patterns and not live out my true purpose.

“I allowed other people to veer me off course and that was the pain that remained in my body, that was the pattern that I had to unweave. The pattern of abandoning my soul path out of fear of not being supported.”

The medicine was truly committing to my path, loving myself and heeding my soul’s calling. That was the ultimate act of reclaiming power.

I continue trusting the unknown on this new adventure. I continue living in the energy of freedom, flow, truth, the authentic and playful joy.

I also realize now lessons return in spirals, not to haunt me but to help expand me even further on my path as I cannot move on from lessons and energetic cycles, until I have come “full circle” in my soul lessons. So I lay down my doubt, I surrender and trust.

 

The honoring path

The sacred practice of honoring and valuing your inner Self, choosing love over fear and walking in the direction of your soul’s calling are choices that keep you in the Divine Flow. It increases your receptivity to abundance and heals your soul. It is a daily practice though and I find myself making choices that nourish my soul every day.

Every time I believe in an illusion where I’m not a part of this greater flow of love, I drop into separation. I’m making a choice to participate in a negative cycle where we I put negativity into a connection or experience that’s outside of myself to deliver joy. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes there’s no reciprocity. It’s reminder I’m out of the flow and to connect back to Source energy because I have no control over another person’s intention or action.

So, I make the honoring choice, again and again. I choose my path, I choose to stay committed to it faithfully, I choose to surrender ego to Source, I choose to focus on unbridled joy and not depend on another’s attention and approval and to keep moving ahead with my spiritual fire and creativity.

Choices. It all comes down to choices. I can choose to throw out any thought, person, or experience that does not align with my soul gifts and soul path, with who I am, how far I’ve come, and where I am going. I am becoming more aware of the love, blessings, and abundance that surrounds me. I’m coming out of the ancient memories bitter snow of the patriarchal dark ages, and toward the warmth of New Earth. I remember who I am. I am worthy of each and every blessing I have, and all those that are still on the way. 

And finally, I don’t wait to turn on the magick. It surrounds me on this journey and will awaken for you too if you are brave enough to touch the heat of your creative fire.

2017 is the Year of A Grand Awakening. Year of the Phoenix.

“Phoenix year begins on January 27, 2017 on the new Moon in Aquarius at 4:07 pm PST. Chinese New Year is the second new Moon after Winter Solstice. Some translations refer to 2017 as Rooster year, but I resonate with Phoenix because the energy of this year brings opportunities for rebirth and transformation.

Phoenix is a brilliant, inspirational, and fearless visionary.

The element Fire is perfect for Phoenix because Fire brings strength, passion, bravery, and leadership. This is the year to break free, claim your destiny, and overcome obstacles. You can heal past actions, with fresh new perspectives and new awareness.”

~ Alkymia

The visual for this year is F.L.Y. (Fearless Love You are). This has come from our ancestors who have predicted this time through myth, Quetzalcoatl, the flying serpent, the balancing of masculine and feminine, the joining of forces, absolute equality.

It is a Feminine Awakening where every woman and man who has felt the call to awaken will step up into greater leadership positions. Especially, we will see more women running for political office, more community leaders, rising into action, more female platforms, more female publishers, more messengers of love, abundance, harmony, cooperation, collaboration and sharing. They are the leaders of the New Earth and they will be grounding the higher vibrational energies of love and truth into political and corporate institutions that need this balance of feminine authority and the feminine voice alongside masculine authority and a new sacred masculine voice.

In 2017 we will see many changes, disruptions and shifts. Here are the overall themes.

Truth and the freedom of speech
This is a year of truth. Not just your normal everyday run of the mill truth. I’m talking absolute truth and alignment on all levels. Speaking without fear. Without giving into the fear. Change always comes and change is constant. So is our truth. We will be seeing a tidal wave of new fresh voices, a new generation of messengers. They will use every platform to share their stories and spread their message to the world. There will be exponential growth in writers, publishers, broadcasters and a new feminine empowerment media emerging where women’s voices are heard and celebrated. We will see more whistle-blowers and employee leaks wherever the truth is threatened or not allowed to be freely expressed.

Alignment and Congruence
We will all be asked to do some deep soul-searching, shatter any illusions we have been carrying about an old identity of who we thought we are and step into the highest and best versions of ourselves where we are contributing to community, giving, sharing and balancing over-consumption. We are coming into our soul’s alignment. The energies of this year will help individuals align vertically to a higher order of personal authority and integrity. Personal power is being healed through facing our limitations of being enslaved, powerless and voiceless for centuries and taking that power back. We have already taken the power back and now we are aligning and integrating at a deeper level. We are healing our issues with the patriarchy and inviting in a sacred masculine to join us.

This year is especially helpful for those who have experienced paternal abandonment and betrayal by the male energy. A new sacred masculine energy is rising along with the new feminine to align and cooperate alongside one another. It’s time that we find one another, as the new male energy will champion the new feminine vision for equality. But first we must be aligned in our absolute truth.

Personal Power
Phoenix and 2017 has a powerful healing presence as we are shedding a 9-year cycle and starting a new cycle this year with new beginnings. Its stature and dignity symbolize the shift you are undergoing in relation to your own personal power. The masculine principle within your psyche is rebalancing at this time, and you will find yourself able to receive new wisdom and sacred knowledge, which resides within your heart. Explore the very nature of your own authority and will power. A tremendous amount of life force is available to you now and you are able to sustain your power over long periods of time. The lessons in personal power are about using our power for higher purposes, not just personal gain, profit at the expense of humanity and the earth.

Active Citizenship
This year has awoken a great call to citizenship and peaceful activism. For people to get into the streets, speak their truth, spread their message. We are all being encouraged to be vigilant but not afraid. We will be less inclined to stay hidden and more inclined to show up, be more visible and add our voice to the social collective, causes that matter to us, causes that will balance humanity towards greater love, compassion and abundance. This year presents a big opportunity to step into more active roles where we are stewards of progress and of our government. It is an opportunity to not be victimized and be weighed down by the burden of helplessness. We have resources and if we come together, we can find them and share them. We have a responsibility of active membership within our local communities, national community and within government.

A New Template of Leadership
This is a year of emerging leadership. We will see more teachers and the teaching of new teachers. As former President Barack Obama said in his farewell speech, “Hearts must change.” The rise of feminine leadership will lead the change of hearts.

Women’s voices: authors, podcasters, bloggers, broadcasters, YouTube stars, speakers, activists, innovators, femmepreneurs, more women in government, more TEDx Talks – using your voice and the power of social media to make change where change is necessary. We will see the rising up of young leaders with new social innovations, new digital models, community based support and organizational clout that will help solve the needs of the underrepresented, voiceless, marginalized and exiled. They care and they will make us remember again how to contribute in greater ways. We have an incredible variety of gifts, talents and strengths to offer in solidarity. The nation’s foremost thought leaders at our fingertips and they will get more involved in anchoring love and truth. This includes ambassadors, university professors, innovative CEOs, creative entrepreneurs and arts pioneers offer their points of view on life, the arts, national security, freedom of speech. They will open their doors in the spirit of change, growth and expansion.

More People Will Awaken
There will be a mass awakening of consciousness. As the pendulum of power swings, it’s up to us to stand up for what we believe, embrace those who are rising in their awareness and offer our wisdom. Offer our stories. Have courageous conversations. Be great storytellers. Tell great stories. Inspire one another. Awaken one another. With truth. With love. Through the stories of our suffering, pain and joy. We can share how to triumph and overcome without blame. Through the journey of our deep strength and rising out of the ashes towards victory we become teachers, citizens, artists, upholders of faith and we become the ones we have been waiting for.

Bigger Picture Thinking
On this journey of truth, we will be asked to think about the bigger picture, beyond our personal agendas and create towards a collective vision where everyone’s needs are considered and accounted for while accepting multiple points of views. We are leaving behind old cycle, thought patterns and habits of victimhood, enabling and villainizing and entering into creatorship, empowerment and mastery. We are also leaving martyrdom and entering into a paradigm of empowered mastery and leadership.

To inspire a collective vision we will see more solidarity. This new cycle will usher in greater solidarity within women’s organizations and movements. We saw how women rose up in the Women’s March on January 21, one day after the Presidential Inauguration. The Feminine Collaboration Model and A New Golden Age of Female Entrepresurship is on its way. Women from all sectors and ages will be more active in creating a dialogue between the merging next generational women leaders and the more established women leaders of the 21st century. Women will be running for public office at local, state and national levels. There will be an increase in the need of power within the community, a need for connection and creation for the greater good. Marching. Uniting. Living truth.

The Shadow side of 2017
2017 will be a year of great change, upheaval and transformation. We are living in revolutionary times. The paradigm of politics, corporations and government will begin to dismantle a legacy of lies, control and abuse. We will witness gag orders, shut downs for progressive and liberal agencies, manipulation of the press. Our freedom of speech and freedom of choice will be tested. Our basic human rights will be tested. We will be tested just how far we are willing to travel to stand up for freedom. There will be mass protests and even riots. Some events will cause quick changes, big shifts and upheavals. Uranus will make sure of this. Uranus acts like lightning. Sudden changes, quick and swift.

If it hasn’t been clear yet – this is also a year of voice. The people have a voice are the people who have a choice. Use your power wisely. Use your voice to make change where change is necessary. No matter where you stand, who you voted for, where you live or what your nationality is, this year, we will all be given a gift. A gift to move forward with our hearts as masters, open wide to invite love, abundance, compassion, oneness and unity.

We have been given an invitation to become the change.
If you want the light, it is there for you.
If you want the darkness, it is there for you.
You have the power to choose.

There’s so much going on in the world and my heart goes out to all who are navigating through these challenges from the presidential transition, new ways of living, disruption in healthcare and changes in travel and immigration status. Millions of warriors are our way-showers, showing us the way towards a humanity where we can love and protect one and another. In the end that’s the only thing that counts. How much we loved one another through it all.

As always, please stay safe and know that you are supported on your journey. I will be praying for all of you and sending extra love and comfort.

If these messages and themes resonated with you, please let me know your thoughts in the comments below and I’ll be sure to reply!

Fearless Love You are! FLY High!

[References taken from Jennifer Hoffman & Alkymia]
For deeper reading:
Jennifer Hoffman Energy Reports
http://enlighteninglife.com/

Alkymia
http://www.alkymia.com.au/announcements/2017-year-of-the-fire-phoenix-rooster