Be The Heroine of Your Life, Not The Victim

Getting divorced felt like a tsunami taking over my life. I became a victim losing everything that was important to me. It was an emotionally crippling process that left me feeling small, undeserving and unworthy.

One by one, I saw my home, my job, my circle of friends, the city I loved and the natural beauty of northern California slip away from my view. This loss brought me to my knees. Some days I would cry for hours. Other days I would smoke cigarette after cigarette to numb the pain. On the outside I seemed to be invincible. My shiny black hair, glowing skin, manicured red nails and fashionable clothing all aided in my facade. On the inside I felt drained and disempowered. One day after coming home from work, I looked in the mirror. My eyes were bright red and filled with grief. My silk blouse was torn and I did not notice. I felt small and vulnerable. I was shrinking. I held my face in my hands, shaking. I wondered how I could navigate through the pain. My belief in myself was sinking as self-doubt crept in.

How was I going to show up through the divorce process? With fear- knowing I lost everything of importance to me? Or with love and courage?

It was the most important choice of my life: to believe in myself again and feel there was something inside of me greater than pain, doubt and obstacles.

Yes, I lost my home, husband and security, but I still had my imagination. So I began dreaming of a life I deeply desired. The life of the woman I wanted to become. I had hopes, dreams and desires buried within me. I wanted to explore. I was working in San Francisco and New York in the advertising industry. I started to dream of living in the Mediterranean for a year. I imagined living in Spain, relaxing on the beach, listening to flamenco music, detoxing with fresh food, learning yoga, swimming in cerulean waters and dancing with wild waves in the sunset.

I made my plans. I researched places to stay, saved money and networked on Facebook.

Four months later, I arrived in Ibiza with the intention of living there for one summer to retreat and heal.

It wasn’t easy. I had to learn a new language, make new friends and create a new home for myself. I found a beautiful white, furnished apartment. I fell in love with its silk curtains as they floated in the ocean breeze along long verandahs and sunlight poured in through swaying palms. I began taking belly dancing classes and running three days a week on a long beach road. I changed my eating habits and ate fresh salads every day, went to the market with a straw basket to buy fruits and made myself juices and smoothies.

I purchased a turquoise journal and wrote in it often. Pouring onto its pages my dreams, desires, wishes and goals. I wrote about my regrets and the things I longed for. I began to know myself again. I also saw what was hidden. There was a beautiful, intuitive voice singing inside of me, letting me know what I could do and who I could become.

I also began a new ritual every morning. I created a vision board of women dancing and yoga instructors teaching. I included women I admired like Shakti Gawain and Colette Baron-Reid. These women created powerful healing systems to empower women. I would look my vision board every morning, chant “I am worthy, valuable and deserving” ten times and then run for three miles. I wanted to see, hear and feel strength flowing through my body. Every day I programmed my mind and body in this way. As I nurtured and gave to myself all the love I once wanted from my husband, I became stronger, bolder and braver. New opportunities opened up for me.

One day, at a dance festival, a producer saw me dancing with musicians who were playing in the plaza. He asked me if I would dance in one of his summer shows and I agreed. I performed every weekend at sunset on a magical hilltop villa overlooking the ocean. With the sun in my face and music spreading in the breeze, I whirled like a gypsy in a cascade of red silk and gold jewelry.

I was also invited to teach a dance workshop at a healing festival. In a Balinese pavilion among sacred orange groves, lemon trees and neroli blossoms. I prepared the dance temple with incense and red rose petals. When the music began, I closed my eyes and lifted my skirt in preparation. The sounds of Persian chanting flowed through the room. I swayed, swirled, and opened my heart to the sky. The other dancers, moved like silk, flowing and swaying with the sacred rhythm inside the room.

There was a magical energy in the temple that day. The energy moved through us, activating our bodies into ecstasy and opening our hearts. Some women went into trance, others felt electric shocks flow through their hands. With hands on their hearts, whirling free, I could see their faces turned to the sky. These women were tasting the light of their own ecstasy.

The creative energy, fire and feminine freedom had a name. Shakti.

I began researching and studying Shakti. I wanted to know everything about this feminine force flowing through me, burning obstacles away, opening up my inner fire and creativity. I began embodying Shakti. Owning my inner resources and gifts as the source of my power. From this place, I discovered my intuition, personal and spiritual power, ability to manifest, magnetize and transform. This source power came from my spiritual identity; and it became a great influence when I opened up to the flow of spiritual assistance, power and wisdom it provided.

All summer I danced at healing festivals, weddings, fashion shows, and concerts with famous, sacred musicians. A summer became one year and one year led three years. My life began to change in little ways at first and then in big ways. I was interviewed in magazines and on radio on how I awakened Shakti and my inner power. I was invited to dance across the Mediterranean in Turkey, Greece, and Cyprus. By the third year I had written a book called Shakti Power, and built a new brand, Shakti Priestess, to empower women in discovering their inner power, fire and creativity.

I began to write about the sacred teachings of the Sacred Feminine and found a publisher who wanted to work with me to share my wisdom with the world. Together with many other talented co-authors, I co-authored 3 best-selling books in the women’s inspirational genre and touched the hearts of thousands of women. I felt overjoyed knowing how women were responding with such positive enthusiasm to my story of how I healed and transformed in Ibiza, and to the love I was offering the world.

As these women continued to ask for more empowerment principles, I recorded guided meditations on the four powers of Shakti, created eBooks and produced empowering podcasts to help listeners embrace Shakti in deeper ways. I intended to reach more and men-to inspire them to reach deep within themselves. I shared tools, techniques and rituals that could initiate their journey into awakening and empowerment.
I continued my daily ritual of looking at my vision board with the faces of inspiring teachers shining with wisdom and grace. I saw the journey I had taken from the day I looked in the mirror and promised myself I would believe again. Five years later, I had traveled a thousand miles from being a disempowered woman to being an empowered woman.

The loss I once faced allowed me to empty myself of who I no longer was and values I no longer believed in. Shakti gave me a gift. The power and ability to create my own world.

Now, I am enjoying a life based on serving and empowering women. I am sharing my gifts. I am increasing my economic power and expanding my brand globally. I am speaking at conferences and collaborating with women who want to make a difference in the world. I hold a frequency to shine light, share gifts and empower others.

I have become the heroine of my life, not the victim. I believe every woman can discover her inner power and wise voice – to create a life worthy of her deepest desires and grow into an authentic vision of herself.

If you are a women seeking to discover your inner power, I have a few tips to help get you started.

First, it is crucial to trust your inner voice. Envision your ideal life, desires and dreams.
How do you want to feel? What are the things you want to do the most now?
Let your voice flow and listen to what you say. Journal what you find to connect consistently to this voice. Let that voice and desire be stronger than any fear.

Claim your personal power. Believe in your worthiness. Believe in the power and beauty of your dreams. Write down all of the goals you want to achieve and the character traits you love about yourself. Create a brave list of adventurous actions you wish to take of things you are aching to do and places you desire to go. Read this list over and over. Discover your passion and your gifts. The key is to believe in yourself and go after your dreams!

Transform pain into wisdom. Learn to solve problems on your own and accept the blessing in your situation. Transform depression into the expression of your unique gifts. Transform deep loss and regret by letting go of an identity and values that no longer serve the future you, the true and the authentic you. Focus on the future and re-build based on what brings you joy. Make time to discover what brings meaning to your life. You need people who support and uplift you throughout this process. Hire a coach and join a like-minded community who will cheer you on celebrate your success with you.

Say yes to your life. Say yes to your dreams. Say yes to you. You choose the life you want to lead. You choose the partner of your dreams. You choose how your deepest desires will manifest in this life.
Most important of all, you choose own your magnificence. The world needs your brilliance, joy, talent, grace and radiance. Hold on to the vision of your life. Sing your soul song out into the world and be a heroine- a shining your light for the entire world to see and rejoice in your inner beauty.

Zinnia Gupte is an inspirational bestselling author, speaker, priestess and sacred dancer who helps women embrace their sacred feminine power. She is an expert at connecting women with their souls’ desires. Zinnia is the author of Messages From Shakti and host of the popular podcast Shakti Power. She is also the co-author of Inspiration For A Woman’s Soul: Cultivating Joy, Women of Midlife Wisdom 2, and Unleash Your Magnificence from the leader in women’s inspirational publishing, Inspired Living Publishing. Her forthcoming book, Shakti Power: Awaken Your Inner Power, Beauty, Intuition, and Magic will soon be available to the world. She teaches sacred dance every year in Spain at the Ibiza Spirit Festival. Reach Zinnia at www.shaktipriestess.com and receive your free Shakti Goddess Gift.

Be The Heroine Of Your Life, Not The Victim first appeared in 20 Beautiful Women Volume 3